Life Lessons From Plants: Saying Goodbye
Plants are part of our cultures and environments. They are interwoven through every aspect of our lives, including the beginning and end.
All living creatures on this Earth have finite lifespans. Some are only a few hours, while others are thousands of years. As humans, we recognize this passage of time in comparison to our own lifespans. If we are so blessed, we can live over 100 years.
There are many examples of plants as symbols and metaphors in culture surrounding death and the passing of life. Plants and flowers help us navigate the complexity of loss and remind us how precious life is.
A beautiful portrayal of life and loss with flowers in music is from Texas Country singer, Aaron Watson. His song called Bluebonnets (Julia’s song) is dedicated to his daughter Julia, whom he lost shortly after her birth. He penned this song after noticing the bluebonnets the following spring.
“'Cause like bluebonnets in the spring, We're only here for a little while.
It's beautiful and bittersweet, so make the most of every mile.
So pack light and love heavy, give it all your heart and soul.
So in the end you won't regret one thing, life is like bluebonnets in the spring.”
- Aaron Watson, Bluebonnets (Julia’s Song)
In Texas, wildflowers are abundant come springtime and are at their peak from March to the end of April. The flowers, especially the bluebonnets (Lupinus texensis and other Lupinus spp.), across the state only last a little while as they fade in the rising temperatures of summer. Watson’s lyrics remind us that life is short and to live it to the fullest.
Wildflowers bloom despite their future and carry on with their journey. Pointing out the duality of life as both beautiful and bittersweet, reminds us that is possible to celebrate the life of a loved one and still grieve their absence at the same time.
Flowers as symbols for life and death allow us to see beginnings and ends in a short enough time span that we can see the whole story. They start as buds and open in all their glory and when their time comes, fade away. For many plants in temperate areas, spring is the time for flowering and continuing on the next generation of plants. Plants are reminders of the cyclic nature of life with the ebb and flow of changing seasons.
Flowers and potted plants are often incorporated to funeral services in many traditions. They are often given to families as a sign of sympathy. The flowers all have special meanings, but just their presence can help bring some happiness to someone who is grieving. White flowers, including lilies (Lilium candidum) are included in many arrangements. While flowers are not considered appropriate for Jewish shiva services or burials, fruit baskets are often sent instead.
In many Latin cultures, especially in Mexico, the Dia de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead, celebrates and remembers those who have passed on. This day is believed to be when the spirits can visit the living. Marigold flowers are used to direct spirits to family alters with their color and distinctive scent. The most common marigolds used is the Mexican marigold or Aztec marigold (Tagetes erecta). This marigold is native to Central America, including parts of Mexico.
Placing flowers on a person’s grave is also a common way to show love and adoration. Some Islamic families place single roses or palm branches on graves. It is thought this tradition began with ancient Greek soldiers leaving flowers on fallen soldiers’ graves. If the flowers took root and grew, it meant their fellow soldier had found peace.
Plant lessons for the living after the loss of a loved one
Nothing lasts forever. Deeply enjoy the moments you have and have had. Take the time to enjoy the wildflowers in the spring.
We are only here for a little while, so be beautiful and bloom where you are planted.
Life goes on after we lose someone, and they would want us to continue our journey. The seed sprouts despite losing the flower.
Live in the present. You can’t change the past and you can’t worry about the future. Start growing today.
Love lives on. Even though you lose the flower, the seed continues on. If the storm breaks the branch, the tree continues on after the storm has passed.
See the positive and the good in the world. There are always a few weeds in a garden, but it doesn’t mean the garden is ruined. The Garden of Life is a mix of plants and weeds. We can still learn a lot from weeds.
Grief and joy can co-exist. Wildfires often burn through forests, but amongst the ashes, the trees and plants return.
Change is hard, but is necessary. Consider how much seeds change to become tall trees or how plants change through the seasons in a year.
Be open to miracles. They come in all sizes and can arrive at any time. Open your heart and consider everything a miracle.
Trust that spring will come again. Winters can be cold and harsh in many parts of the world, but the plants always trust that the sun will shine again. In time your heart will heal and shine again.
There are many other examples of plants interwoven in through cultures for loss, these are just a few examples. What are some ways that you acknowledge loss in your life with flowers and plants?
We cannot control when it is our time to leave this place. Plants share this journey with us and teach us about the many facets of life. Flowers remind us to live life in the moment and to take time to stop and smell the roses.
Dedicated to Vickie (1957- 2021)